Who Run The World? GIRLS! ... Apparently not.

My family and I attended a free screening of the short documentary, "A Long Journey Home: The Rainier Story" yesterday. It is the story of a Downtown Eastside (DTES) treatment centre for women, The Rainier Hotel, which has recently lost their government funding.

I didn't realize until recently that of the many programs meeting various needs in the DTES, there are few treatment programs (this might be the only one, actually) that focus on Women's rehabilitation. This is shocking to me. Are we the only people in the world that don't understand that educating and empowering women is fundamental for a functional society? We carry, birth, and (mostly) care for children, so without women we have no society, right? So why aren't we treated that way?

It was so inspiring to hear Rainier residents speak. These women who have been entrenched in various addictions, abuse, and sometimes prostitution, are now beginning to see their worth and build up their confidence, they are beginning to have contact with estranged family members, they are starting to volunteer and give back in their community. All because they feel supported by Rainier staff, because someone decided to give a damn about them. But funding for that staff is being taken away and with that, the hope these women have begun to feel for their future. Click over to Twitter to find out how to help SAVE THE RAINIER.  

And now, I warn you, I am going to go on a bit of a rant . . .

I looked at the women last night and thought, "these are someone's daughters, sisters, nieces, cousins, wives, mothers." They are all these things to all these people and yet have apparently never felt loved or supported enough by any of them. Shame on us! What are we missing in our own families, our own communities? We treat these women like crap, even though it could be any of us in their situation needing support. When women fall on hard times and are less than the caregivers, providers, partners that we expect them to be, how do we help them? Apparently, we don't. We send them away or ignore them or say "That could never be me!" When I spend time with people who are down on their luck, I think, "It's sure NICE of me to come off my middle class high horse to hang out with them, aren't I so GOOD?!" And that's easy for me to think because I'm sure I'd never have it so rough. But who's to say I wouldn't?

I am fortunate enough to have grown up in a loving family surrounded by supportive friends and community, I have not suffered abuse, and I have a supportive husband who is involved in our son's life. So, I think, if something terrible happened people would surround me and help me out and I could get through it without turning to drugs or alcohol or harming myself. But what if it wasn't enough? What if my husband or my child was murdered, then what? Can I really say that I would be able to pull it together, that I would accept the help my family wanted to give me? Can I really say that I would never turn to vices to escape my horrid situation? Of course not. I could literally be one tragedy away from crumbling to the ground and not knowing how to pick myself up. And if that happened to you or to someone you loved, wouldn't you want to know that there was a supportive program like The Rainier there to help?

getting knitty with it

                                                                                I have been knitting for the last 10 years or so, off and on. I assumed that getting pregnant and having a little one would spin me into a knitting frenzy and my child would wear many chic knits made by mom. That is not quite what happened . . .

During pregnancy, i was too tired, uncomfortable and mentally foggy to focus on many creative projects. Plus my hands ached as my ligaments loosened to make space for my growing belly and baby. I didn't anticipate that.

I thought i would have increased energy and the nesting instinct would get my creative juices flowing and my needles clacking. Instead, my son came 3 weeks early and the big nesting burst everyone talks about never fully kicked in.

After I had my baby, I heard rumours of moms who would knit as their child breastfed and were just pumping out toques and socks and blankets for their little ones. To me this sounded like some fantastical story of fairies and ogo pogos and wizards. I couldn't even get out of my pyjamas for 3 weeks.

But sure enough, I started to be able to carve out time for myself as my son grew and am now happy to say that i am knitting my way through a cabled sweater for myself. It's also a great activity to do while exhaustedly watching netflix in the evenings. ;o)

Free at last . . .

Since becoming a mom I've done a few things which the general public may refer to as "letting myself go", but I think of as "free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, I'm free at last!"

1. I stopped dyeing my hair, even though I have greys.
Our society puts great emphasis on looking polished and has infinite options for making every part of our bodies very shiny. I dyed my hair for 16 years and loved the instant re-invention it allowed, especially as a teen, but it started to feel like a hole I was throwing money into for no good reason except the fear of looking like a zebra as I grew it out. I did look like a zebra for awhile, but now I finally feel confident with my natural hair colour (greys and all).

2. I started wearing comfortable shoes.
I am on the ultimate search for fall/winter footwear that manages to gracefully combine function and fashion (and have been for most of my life), but since I haven't found it yet I wear the same Blundstone boots almost everyday, even though they are not really my style. (And I wait for summer when I can live in my silver Birkenstock flip flops - those are the perfect fashion/function sandal). Fortunately, a lot of people in my neighbourhood also wear similar boots every day so I don't stick out that much. There's a strange freedom in giving myself less choice and just knowing what I'm going to wear (at least on my feet). Maybe that's what the private school kids have been talking about all these years?

3. I wear my hair naturally, sans product.
There was a time in my life when I would have never left the house without product in my hair. The frizz alone . . . But nowadays, if i'm on my own with my son, I will never get to leave the house if I live by this rule. It takes long enough to get us both dressed, fed, and out the door. So I bought myself a toque to plop on my head on messy hair days and sometimes even go a little crazy and just wear my hair big, combed-out 70s style.

4. I dress like a boy.
Or, excusez moi, I follow the "menswear-inspired" and "boyfriend ____" trends. This started when I was pregnant and just amped up once I started breastfeeding because button-up shirts (or even better, snap-up) allow for easy access. And always one to have to have a 'look' I started pairing them with coloured jeans and big sweaters and the aforementioned boots and toque. This is liberating because I have always been a bit of a tomboy (in style and wanting to run through mud barefoot only, no athletic ability here, friends) but have fought it for most of my 20s. The fight is over.

5. I stopped pretending to wear make-up.
For a few years there I really made an effort to be a make-up person like my mom and sister always wanted, but aside from the occasional blush for a little colour, I'm just not into it and now I have the perfect excuse to stop trying. Also, now that I rarely wear make-up, when I do make a small effort for a special event people compliment me like mad and it's awesome.

My Very Own Real-life Doll

When I first found out I was pregnant I desperately wanted a baby girl. I grew up surrounded by girls and thought I'd have no idea what to do with a boy. Besides, I love fashion and there's nothing fun to dress boys in, right?

Fast forward almost 2 years and I could not imagine life without my little boy. Almost all my friends with kids have boys and I get great joy out of watching these little men grow. I also have tons of fun dressing my boy! Maybe there are more options out there now or I just never noticed before, but boys' clothes are cute today. There are skinny jeans and plaid shirts and little hats and booties and polo shirt onesies and cardigans with elbow patches. And everything really is cuter small.

I also love living vicariously through my son's closet. How fun is it to change over your clothing options every few months? Granted, we've been very blessed with gifts and hand me downs, so i haven't had to do the growing boy shuffle, running around town looking desperately for the right size and style of clothing before he pops out of his current collection. I may feel differently then, but for now I get a kick out of dressing this kid. Here are a few outfit highlights: 

lumberjack chic

business casual

bearded for halloween

retro sweats

Nouveau Chapter

It's been awhile since I've posted anything here. I got a bit pre-occupied the last few years by getting pregnant and having a baby (the understatement of my life!)

Almost a year later, I am still adapting (and re-adapting and re-adapting again) to life as a full-time mom and needless to say, I don't think of my hair as obsessively as I once did. A fetus taking over your body and a baby taking over your days will snap the vanity right out of you (or at least put it way further down the to-do list). 

In the few precious hours I get to myself each day I have to balance doing things for the house, the family, and myself. And usually once me time comes around I am so tired I end up flopping on the couch to watch Netflix or read other people's blogs. Often when reading said blogs, I feel envious and wonder why I don't do one anymore. So, after encouragement from an old friend, I am starting up again.

What will I write about? I don't know. I have no great plan or niche reading market in mind, just a desire to carve out a little space for myself on the interwebs and see what comes of it. 

i've been conditioned

I just learned that there are women in the world who don't use conditioner . . . and still have great hair.

As someone who cannot fathom ever leaving my hair unconditioned, I was honestly shocked by this. I know, silly thing to be shocked by. But, seriously, that's amazing. 

I knew that men didn't often use conditioner, but I always thought that was a length thing. 

Equally shocking was my discovery of the opposite last year - that lots of curly-haired peeps use conditioner and NOT shampoo. I've started doing this myself, only using shampoo half the time, but always conditioner, and my hair is way less dry. 

But seriously, aren't Shampoo and Conditioner the quintessential bathroom couple!? 

And now I learn, after all these years, that people have been breaking them up in houses all over the world.  I know it's crazy, but it's true. 

do it like a dude

Many people look in the mirror or around at their friends and compare themselves to celebrities they may resemble.

I have never been told I looked like anybody famous, but lately I've noticed that I've been rockin' some Bob Dylan-goes-electric hair. Seriously, it's uncanny.

Then today I was reading an article about internet whiz-kids and couldn't help but see a hair-semblance with Jessie Eisenberg ("The Social Network").

Is it weird that I can relate in looks most to men?
Maybe a little, but it's all good. Those boys have some styling hair!